![]() ![]() My only suggestion on how to fully enjoy this film? Switch off the noggin'. While tastes will be tested and tolerance for cheese will be needed, the film's straightforward slasher feel has little much to offer but to entertain a boring night with an unlikely scenario, unlikely villain and, yes, unrealistic kills that's conjured up for the sake of your grim enjoyment. With little mystery on who's doing the killings and cheesy effects for both practical and CG murders, Simon Says (2006) was never a film to be taken seriously. There's also that time-filler massacre involving paintballers that happens sometime around the middle of the film, a possible shout out to a similar scene to Jason's triumphant 1986 return from the grave in Friday the 13th: Jason Lives. It's all fun, but it serves no purpose other than to heighten the kill count. Sadly, just as some bad 80s slasher out there, we're also filled in with some unexplained plot holes aside from the fact we got a final girl who dreams of other people's memories for no reason, we also got a random horse riding girl who appears all ghost-like just for the sake of it. Made as a throwback to 80s slasher, Simon Says (2006) is backwoods horror that is either a diamond in a rough or a turd in the dirt, possessing everything that makes a bodycounter film good and, too, those that makes it bad. As you've guessed, it's one of the twins (or both) and they're killing people for.well, I don't know, but they seem to be enjoying the heck out of it so I'll just leave it at that. ![]() For some unexplained reason, this turned out to be a dream our lead girl's having, which makes no sense since the film would later and clearly points out that she doesn't know these terror tykes.įrom there, we follow the usual trail kids go camping, all of them stereotyped (the stoner, the mean girl, the slut, the white guy, and our marketed final girl), people warn them not to go and turn back (twice), teens stop for gas and food wherein they meet a creepy mentally-handicapped guy named Simon and his twin brother Stanley (If you believe these twins are the ones from the dream awhile ago, you earn yourself a cookie), so far so good!Īs the kids go on their merry way, they soon enough reach their backwoods spot before one of them leaves and gets hunted down by a killer (dressed as a bush, no less), leading to the earliest unmasking ever. The scene starts with a black and white family movie of twin toddlers playing on the lawn which escalates disturbingly when one of the toddler smashes a toy truck over the other. ![]()
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